Not Close Enough

Around midnight last night internet in Kuwait went down. Seems there was a fire at the exchange that took it out. GPRS via Mtc working now.
Around midnight last night internet in Kuwait went down. Seems there was a fire at the exchange that took it out. GPRS via Mtc working now.

Around midnight last night internet in Kuwait went down. Seems there was a fire at the exchange that took it out. GPRS via Mtc working now.

Someone asked me last week “How happy are you from 1-10” and I thought for a bit cause if he said 10-0 it would be easier but I replied “A 7 or 8”, cure and he was surprised by that high number compared to other people he asked and wondered why. The first thing that came to my mind was “Seahawks going to Superbowl”, he then said “oh it sports and didn’t want to hear about it, and then some food came.

The reason I said Seahawks was part of the whole reason for my state of happiness, I had something to look forward to. There is a state of happiness now, but that is really hard to achieve due to it’s briefness. Yet to me being really happy is having something to wake up to in the morning and well just look forward to.

There was a time that waking up for me was utter and extreme hell. Not from the lack of sleep or my diet, but that I had nothing to wake up for. Waking up consisted of me going “why, and what do I have to do today”, not “what I wanted, but HAD to”. It was very troubling state of mind.

I could take a look at this in the Maslow heirarchy of needs or even in the Erikson’s stages. So I guess I am growing as a person or something like that. Funny thing is both those thoughts end with things that Buddhism works on achieving.

Even tonight I went to the airport to pay the MTC bill and just hanged around there all alone and was so content on being there. Felt so relaxing just roaming around, eating some teriyaki while reading The Economist. It has really been a long time since I have eaten alone and well being totally in my own space within a public setting and being comfy in it.

I guess I reached some sort of sync where my outside and inside are at a balance or something. Guess it is the sync of the Hijra new year and the Chinese one. Guess that has to mean something.

2 thoughts on “Not Close Enough”

  1. lol toomi… this is one of the rare up close and personal posts by nibaq and then theres ur comment that just cracked me up… i could actually hear ur voice saying it!
    looooool

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